He Thought He Could Love Another
by AllianceN7
Summary: The Doctor takes on Rose's childhood friend as a new companion, when he starts to feel things for her...She blows it.


Carly Tennat was laughing as she watched The Doctor from the sofa as he tried to fix the TARDIS's chameloen circuit. "Sorry to say it, but you're only going to break it more…"

"What are you laughing at?" he asked her

She stopped laughing and turned to the side table, grabbing a book that she'd been reading lately. It's title was 'Jason's Gold'.

Walking over to Carly, he sat down beside her. "You wanna give it a go?" he asked sarcastically handing her his sonic screwdriver.

Carly shrugged. The Doctor taught her how to use his sonic. "Only if you help. It's your TARDIS."

"Well, your traveling with me, she is partly yours too." he said nudging her. He smiled. "I'm just messing with you. She will fix herself now."

She smiled and leaned her head in his shoulder while reading her book.

He didn't move her, he was comfortable with her there. He sighed and rested his head against hers and let his eyes rest a moment. He hadn't been this comfortable with a companion since Rose. He furrowed his brow thinking about her, wondering if she was okay. Sighing he stood up and walked back over to the TARDIS. "She should be good to go in about 24 hours." he said patting the side of the TARDIS.

One special thing about Carly was that she could make small deductions. "You're missing Rose, aren't you…"

He never understood how Carly could read his mind. It was one thing that fascinated him about her. "I always am." he mumbled quietly.

She dog-eared her page and walked over to The Doctor. "It's okay, I miss her, too…"

She was so patient. Martha hadn't been so kind when it came to his feelings about Rose. Donna, with her he hadn't had the chance to really talk about her. Carly, she seemed like she really wanted to help him, and he appreciated it. He leaned against the TARDIS. "Oh, well, everyone has to go away in the end... even you." he said trying to push to topic away.

Carly leaned against the TARDIS with him. "You wanna talk about it?"

Did he? He had never been good at knowing what he did or did not want, he had lost his chance to tell Rose his feeling because of this. He didn't want to risk bottling important feelings up and missing oppertunities anymore. "Oh, alright." he said slouching down to sit on the floor, his body propped up against the TARDIS.

She smiled and sat down with him. Carly took his hand. "Doctor, tell me all that you want to. I'm here for you."

He sighed. "I've made so many mistakes Carly, caused people I love to die, committed genocide... I've killed thousands and if there is one regret I have, one thing I wish more than anything that I could change, it would be never telling Rose the three words she wanted to hear. She sacrificed everything for me, and I didn't have the decency to return the favor by sacrificing my selfish need to hide emotions and tell her 'I love you'."

Carly hugged him tight. "Go ahead and cry if you want, Doctor."

"I cant cry. I cant be weak." he said. "What is that expression humans use? No use crying over spilt milk?" he regretted that statement the minute he said it. Rose was not just some spilt milk. She was Rose, his Rose, his beautiful and brave Rose.

Though she had'nt admitted it, Carly was jealous. This always happened when her and Rose we're kids. Carly NEVER got any men.

"I'm sorry." he said. He knew Carly was beginning to care for him. For once he had picked up on his companions feelings. He didn't know why he was noticing it, maybe it was because of her relationship to Rose. 'Maybe one day he could return her feelings.' he thought to himself. One day. He put his arm around her to let her know that he felt her pain too.

She let some tears slip. "I miss her…"

He looked Carly in they eyes, letting his tears fall too. "I know..." He pulled her in close, hugging her to his chest. He let his feeling go and allowed himself to cry with her.

Her body wracked with sobs. She liked the feeling of The Doctor's arms around her. She felt… safe.

Tears still pouring from his eyes, he hugged Carly tighter. "I am angry with the world. I am angry that I fight every day to save it, and it just continues to take and take from me. I am angry that I couldn't save her and I am angry at times that I even met her, cause if I hadn't she wouldn't be stuck in an alternate dimension and I wouldn't have these... feelings."

Carly looked up. She wiped away his tears. "Shhhh. Don't cry, darling…"

"903 years of war and death and she is the only one I can't put to rest." He was crying harder than he had ever cried before. It almost felt good, like release..."I love her!" he said loudly. Standing up and walking to the window of Carly's flat, he opened it and screamed out the window "ROSE TYLER...I LOVE YOU!"

Carly ran off. She sometimes wished that Rose didn't exist. If she didn't, SHE WOULD have The Doctor. She ran to her room, not looking back.  
You: When he heard her door slam, it pained his hearts. He knew he was causing her pain. He wanted to give her what she wanted. He walked to her bedroom door and opened it slowly. "Carly..." he said.

She was on her bed with her knees to her chest. "What?" She asked, muffled by her legs.

"Please." he said sitting down beside her. "Look at me."

She shifted towards him. "What do you want?"

He pulled her up next to him and took her hands in his. "I'm sorry." he said gazing into her eyes. "Please, just give me some time."

She looked away, already in enough pain because of what he had said moments ago.

"Look Carly, I know that I am causing you pain. I know that you have feelings. I just don't know how to let her go." he said as he grabbed her face, turning it back to face his. "I've never had to do this."

She slapped away his hand. "Whatever…"

Her slap hurt, not physically, but emotionally. He had really hurt her this time. Trying to think of something to give her hope, something to give to her until he could figure this out, he reached up and put his hands on each side of her face. "Carly." he said, "I promise, I will be the man you want me to be." Gazing into her eyes he hoped she believed him. Wanting to show her he meant it he pulled her face closer to his before he leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips.

A jolt of electricity shot through her. "Did I ever tell you Rose was the school slut?"

Anger shot through his veins. He backed away, standing up. He just opened his whole being to this woman, and this is how she repays him? "Don't.." he said trying to keep from exploding with anger.

"DOCTOR, I'M NOT LYING! I DON'T LIE! YOU KNOW THAT!"

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LYING!" he screamed at her. "I WILL NOT SIT HERE AND ALLOW YOU TO TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THIS!" his blood was boiling. "I JUST GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! I WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TALK TO ROSE ABOUT MY FEELING AND HERE YOU ARE GETTING IT ALL AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? BY TRYING TO WIN ME OVER WITH TRASH TALK? YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FORGET IT!" He turned and headed to the TARDIS. She wasn't in any condition to fly, not long distance anyway, but he didn't need to go far, just far enough to get away from Carly.

She grabbed his wrist tightly to the point her knuckles were white. "I'M SORRY! YOU HONESLY DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ROSE AND I TO HIDE HER SECRET, DOCTOR! WE DID IT FOR THE GOOD OF EVERYONE!"

So angry that he couldn't even yell he turned to look at her. "I don't care about what Rose did in school. I'm not petty. I cared about Rose for who she was when we were together." he ripped his arm away from her.

She took a deep breath. "Doctor, I know how she lures people in. She acts JUST LIKE how she did towards you. That's her bait, Doctor..."  
You: He was done listening to her. He didn't care what she said. It didn't matter to him, none of it, he loved Rose and all Carly cared about was herself, he knew that now. "I don't care. She would never have done what you just did." He closed the door to the TARDIS and began to cry again.

She was on the outside leaning on the door crying. She had proof. Rose's journal with the names of all the boys she had sex with. The Doctor just didn't understand what happened clearly. She fogged the victim's mind, intoxicating them. She had to explain…

He knew he couldn't get far, but he had to get somewhere. He began to push buttons and turn knobs and he felt the TARDIS go into flight. He had to get away, go somewhere, anywhere but here.

Luckily, Carly had the small journal in the shoulder bag she was wearing. She picked the lock and entered the TARDIS.

"Get out Carly." he yelled. "You don't want to be in here right now. The last time I wanted someone off of here, ol' Blue here threw them out for me."

She let tears drip. "But I have proof. Proof you wouldn't let me show you…"

"DONT YOU UNDERSTAND!? I DONT CARE! I! DO! NOT! CARE! WHATEVER ROSE DID, DOESN'T MATTER TO ME! NOTHING, AND I MEAN NOTHING WILL CHANGE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER! I THOUGHT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU ONE DAY, BUT NOW I REALIZE YOU ARE WORSE THAN ANY OTHER COMPANION I EVER HAD! I WANT YOU OUT OF THE TARDIS NOW!"

"DOCTOR, SHE DID THIS AFTER SCHOOL AS WELL! I TRY TO LOOK OUT FOR THE PEOPLE I LOVE! YOU ARE ONE OF THEM! I LOVE YOU!"

"Carly. I am going to tell you one last time. I don't care. She saved the world, she sacrificed herself to save this world that you live in everyday and you have the gall, the absolute nerve to try and spoil the wonderful thing she did. Out, Carly, now." His eyes blazed with anger. "OUT!"

"I'm sorry. I honestly am. She said to say it if I ever needed to. I just couldn't hide it anymore. I've made bad choices, this one is the worst. I think we just need to forget what happened and start over…"

"Out." he said a final time. He knew if he had to ask again, the TARDIS would throw her out.

She breathed deep. "Fine." She walked out. But he didn't know she was holding on to the light ontop, waiting for TARDIS to stop so she could fully appologize.

He felt the TARDIS, only Rose had known that the TARDIS could speak to him. He knew that she was outside, he had known she was not going to give up.

When the TARDIS landed, Carly hopped off the roof and waited for The Doctor to exit. "I hope he will forgive me." She said to herself.

When he opened the door he attempted to ingnore her as he walked towards Wilfred's hill.

She didn't know it was Wilfred's Hill at first. "D-doctor?"

He kept walking, hoping Wilfred was there, he needed someone trusting to speak to.

She tightly grabbed his wrist again. "Just hear me out..."

"Nope." he said shrugging her off. "Wilfred? You up here?"

It was past the time Wilfred would stay at the hill. "He's not here, Doctor. We need to talk. Not you and Wilfred, me and you."

He turned to look at her. "There is absolutely nothing to talk about. Rose, slut, me, no care. See nothing. Now if you will excuse me, I need to find Wilfred."

"Just give me 50 seconds, Doc. Just 50 seconds…"

He looked at his wrist. "50 seconds, and...go."

"Doctor, you don't know how much I thought while I was on that roof. I relized I've made HORRIBLE mistakes in the past week. Mostly today's events. I know I probably ruined our friendship, and maybe a future relationship. Please forgive me. I'm soooo sorry." She was on the verge of tears yet again.

"You know Carly, for a moment, I thought I could care for you, but now, after hearing how petty you are, I can't even pretend to think that I could ever get back to that feeling again."

She collapsed on the grass, crying. "Doctor, please…"

"One more chance…"

He was surprised when he didn't feel sorry for her. He looked down at her and could only see her as a selfish child. He had met Dalek's with more compassion. "I just don't think I can." he walked away, needing some space.

When The Doctor was nearly out of view, she took out a razor and began to cut her wrists. She didn't know why. But then…

He didn't look back. He knew if he did he would begin to feel regret, and right now, he was too angry to want to feel regret. He headed towards Donna's home to find Wilfred.

About an hour later, it was sunset. Carly had treated her wounds an soon heard footsteps behind her. She turned around, seeing The Doctor. "D-doctor?"

"Hello Carly." he said.

She held up her wrists, showing him her wounds. "I hope you're happy…"  
You: He grabbed ahold of her wrists and pulled her to her feet. "I haven't been happy for a long time." he said

She winced. "Watch the wrists..."

He pulled her down to the street, "I've called you a cab, it will be here in 10 minutes to take you home."

She looked down. "Can we just start over, Doc? We just need to forget what's happened…"

"How can we?" he asked looking upon her with pity. "You are so angry at something you have no control over, angry at someone who only loved and cared for you."

"I'm angry at myself. Not at you. I just loose it sometimes. You don't know how HARD it's been for me these past few hours. We just have to try and forget somethings in life. Not everything's perfect. I've learned that the hard way. Many lessons came out of this, Doctor." She took his hand. "We just have to try."

He pulled his hand away and took a few steps back. "I give you a choice, you take my hand and accept everything, including my feelings for Rose, or you get in that cab and continue to be angry at everything and everyone. However, if you take my hand, that journal burns, and you never speak ill of another. Am I clear?"

She took his hand. "I swear. If you EVER feel the same way towards me again, it probably won't happen. I you can do whatever you want. Ignore the feelings, accept them. I understand…"

"So, Carly, what do we do now?"

She kissed him on the cheek

"We start over."


End file.
